Stop people pleasing, reclaim your power, and heal emotional burnout without feeling like a bad person.

 

If you’re trapped in the cycle of over-giving, guilt, or fear for saying no or honoring your own needs – this is your wake-up call. Learn how to sop abandoning yourself, heal from people pleasing tendencies, and come back into spiritual alignment.

 

We dig into how people pleasing affects your energy, nervous system, and relationships – and most importantly, how to stop without guilt, shame, or fear. If you’re tired of feeling invisible, emotionally drained, or like you can’t express your truth, you’re in the right place.

 

YOU WILL DISCOVER:

 

🔮 Why continuing to people please keeps you stuck in discomfort

🔮 What you’re really doing when you try to manage how other people react

🔮 How your thoughts can quietly steal your peace of mind

🔮 Why emotional peace starts with regulating your nervous system

🔮 A crystal ritual for emotional protection and truth

 

Whether you’re on a spiritual journey, working through trauma, or ready to stop abandoning yourself for others, tune in now to get back into alignment.

 

00:00 Introduction to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast

00:40 Understanding People Pleasing

03:11 The Seven of Swords: A Card of Self-Reflection

04:40 The Law of Correspondence and People Pleasing

08:26 Aquamarine: The Crystal for Honest Expression

09:52 Ritual to Release People Pleasing

12:04 Join the Charmed Community

13:59 Conclusion and Next Steps

 

FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

 

Connect with Crystals that Support Your Unique Energy Needs – Shop Now!: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/shop/

 

Join the Charmed Community: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-community-opt-in/

 

Download the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet to help you get your life in order: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-morning-ritual-opt-in/

 

Register for the Crystal Witch New Moon Ritual: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/cwnmr-crystal-witch-new-moon-ritual-opt-in/

 

Want to take this work deeper and apply it to your life?  Inside the Crystal Self Healer Members Portal, you’ll discover how to relax your body, mind, and spirit through crystal healing, while learning to set healthy boundaries, build unshakable self-belief, and heal the wounds from past hurts. Click the link to learn more and enroll today, and take the next step toward lasting emotional freedom: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/crystal-self-healer-members-portal/

 

Want to know what crystal will help you right now?  Take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz and find out how you can start your own crystal practice here:  https://www.threecharmedgems.com/best-crystal-for-you-quiz/

 

Follow on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crystal-self-healer/id1727392795

Episode #77 – Stop People Pleasing Without Feeling Like a Bad Person

Introduction to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast

Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer podcast. I’m Corissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self-awareness.

Are you ready to get started? Alright, let’s go.

Understanding People Pleasing

Think back to when you were in school. Did you seek the approval of your teachers by closely following their instructions?

Did you avoid asking questions or asking for what you need because you didn’t want to be a disruption or cause a negative reaction?

In your relationships now, are you comfortable voicing your needs or do you quietly measure how important something is to you and only speak up when the discomfort you’ll create is less than the discomfort you’re already experiencing?

Women, more than men, engage in people pleasing and put their needs and desires lower than those around them.

And if you tend to do this, this episode is for you. We are going to clarify the difference between abandoning yourself to keep others happy, or abandoning the need to please others without feeling like a bad person.

In life, there are givers and there are takers, winners and losers. This might sound like a harsh statement, but within the binary, black and white world we’ve been socialized in, it seems like reality.

In a Leave it to Beaver, black and white existence, maybe this would be true, but underneath all of this is an unhealthy narrative that encourages women and girls to prioritize others at the cost of their own emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing.

These longstanding expectations have often resulted in women staying in relationships out of obligation, convincing themselves they can’t survive on their own, even though they’re the one holding everything together, or they’re saying, I’m fine while burning out.

At the end of the day, regardless of whether you people please as a result of an unstable childhood, learned behaviors, or the result of hardship and trauma, it isn’t where we need to focus.

The lasting damage is from continuing to stay here, to continue to carry around the weight of feeling invisible, or undeserving, or being unable to do something else that could change your current experience or the outcome.

The Seven of Swords: A Card of Self-Reflection

The card inspiration today is the seven of Swords as the what to release energy from a crystal and tarot reading inside the Charmed Community.

In general, the seven of Swords is about theft and being the suit of swords is also heavily influenced by the air element and our thoughts.

So as you see in the imagery, there is a central figure holding five swords, sneaking a peek over their shoulder as they tiptoe out of the encampment. This individual is being very sneaky here. You could wonder through this imagery if the person is stealing from their own defenses or if they are stealing from the imposing camp.

But you need to remember that this is the air element. It’s how we are thinking about a situation.

So really what this card is challenging you to do is identify where you are stealing from yourself by way of your thoughts.

This card, in this placement, is asking you to be brutally honest with yourself, to identify where you are stealing your own peace of mind in an attempt to get it by pleasing other people.

And I am sure you know that by your current experience, it still hasn’t happened. You’re still feeling as stuck now as you were before.

The Law of Correspondence and People Pleasing

So let’s look at people pleasing through the lens of the Law of Correspondence. The Law of Correspondence is most commonly expressed with the as above, so below expression and states that patterns repeat across levels of reality. This law is also associated with the concept that the outer experience is a reflection of the inner experience.

So when you feel invisible, undeserving or crave validation you choose to people please as an attempt to get your needs met.

There’s a fine line when it comes to doing things for others in hopes that they will return the same level of investment in you.

Most often there is an external justification that comes before the choice to people please.

And if you’ve said to yourself, “if I’m kind here, they’ll be kind back.”

Or that if I just make this a softer landing for them, it will be better.

Or if I avoid saying no or making them uncomfortable, I’ll be safer.

Yet realistically, most times when faced with these situations where the discomfort is felt before the people pleasing, the discomfort level is the same, if not worse, after the people pleasing.

The attempt to control the external situation through self-selecting discomfort extends your internal discomfort into your external reality.

As within, so without.

Now, I want you to understand that you are not a bad person for wanting to have your needs met.

But honestly, some people just can’t give you what you need.

And if you’re bending over backwards, twisting yourself into a pretzel, doing everything to satisfy them in hopes that they will then give to you in return, you’ll end up burning out and crashing.

Sometimes you’ve gotta do what’s right for you, even if it doesn’t look right to everyone else.

You’re not betraying anyone. You’re extracting yourself from a pattern of behavior that’s been betraying you.

Helping others at the expense of yourself isn’t compassion. It’s self abandonment.

I frequently talk about resilience on this podcast and that is integral to making this shift.

Resilience in this circumstance is learning to be okay in the face of discomfort.

Acknowledging that you will be okay, regardless of how others perceive or react to you.

Creating this resilience will open the door to all those moments you really desire:

That break from constantly managing someone else’s needs.

That moment to breathe because you’re no longer responsible for someone else’s feelings.

An end to feeling like you’re drowning in guilt, resentment, and exhaustion because you no longer need to solve or fix everything for everyone else.

Knowing that you’ll be okay, even in the face of discomfort and adversity gives you the ability to release the belief that protecting yourself has to come with guilt or shame.

And once you stop stealing your peace of mind and shift your focus to creating it for yourself, that peace will be reflected in the world around you because that is the Law of Correspondence.

Aquamarine: The Crystal for Honest Expression

The crystal I’m going to offer you today is Aquamarine, and here’s why.

Aquamarine helps to clear the throat chakra, supporting honest and aligned expression. You will reconnect with your authentic voice in a way that allows you to express your needs without apology, over explaining, diluting or second guessing yourself.

When you’re prone to people pleasing, the internal stress you feel around saying no, or not saying yes, is your achilles heel. Aquamarine will soothe this emotional charge, helping to regulate your nervous system so that this discomfort doesn’t become the trigger for your people pleasing tendency.

Aquamarine helps you create the emotional pause that makes space for clarity. You will be able to untangle your true desires from the conditioned responses of people pleasing, making it easier to shift into a conscious and intentional way of being.

Holding alignment with your higher self helps you to internalize the reality that putting yourself first isn’t selfish or shameful. Aquamarine helps you to feel steady in your decisions and rooted in your worth, so you can create a deep, lasting calm and peace of mind.

Ritual to Release People Pleasing

So here’s a little ritual you can do to support you to stop people pleasing without feeling like a bad person.

You’ll need a candle, Aquamarine, lavender, bay leaf, a small piece of paper, pen, and a sachet.

Create a peaceful environment for yourself by lighting your candle and taking a few deep breaths to center yourself.

As you root into this moment, focus your attention on the intention of this ritual, the releasing of people pleasing, so you can choose peace, truth, and alignment.

Allow this intention to envelop you, for you to become this energetic space.

As you focus on speaking with calm and clarity, place the Aquamarine in the sachet.

Next, focus on feeling safe and soothed as you place the lavender in the sachet.

With your pen, write the word release on the bay leaf.

As you integrate this energy, place the bay leaf in the sachet.

Next on the piece of paper, either draw a sigil or an affirmation to charge or add an extra layer to the ritual.

Place it in the sachet and then tie the sachet closed as you focus on the individual items inside creating an energetic synergy to support you.

As you’re tying the sachet, say aloud or to yourself, “This I know to be true. My energy is my own. I honor myself with love and strength.”

Hold the sachet in your palms as you breathe into it three times.

With each of these breaths, visualize the energy of the sachet growing and glowing as you take comfort in your voice, your truth, and your safety, all being protected.

Place your sachet on your altar or carry it with you to support you in all that you do.

When you’re finished, remember to safely extinguish your candle.

Join the Charmed Community

Today’s pairing of the Seven of Swords with Aquamarine is from a recent crystal and tarot forecast inside the Charmed Community.

I invite you to join me in this free space where I share these readings weekly to help you align your energy and focus your week.

You’ll also get the opportunity to connect with others who are exploring their growth and creating change in their lives just like you.

Join us for free, the link is in the show notes.

And if you’re tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster, constantly juggling everything in your life, and you really want to be part of a space that holds you in your healing, a space where you could feel seen, supported, and connected, I’d love to have you join me inside the Crystal Self Healer members portal.

It’s where we go beyond the weekly guidance and we apply it to your life, equipping you with the tools, resources, and support to build your confidence in crystal healing and emotional self-care.

Inside you get personalized coaching, healing sessions, rituals, and everything you need to truly empower yourself to live with more ease and alignment.

Visit my website, www.threecharmedgems.com or click the link in the show notes to learn more and join me.

It’s time to stop living at the mercy of emotional triggers and start living in spiritual integrity. The Crystal Self Healer Members portal is where that shift begins. Come and find your clarity.

Today’s episode has been brought to you by the seven of Swords, Aquamarine, and Release. May we all release the pattern of people pleasing so we can align with peace, truth, and alignment.

Blessed be, my friends.

Conclusion and Next Steps

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review and take the what Crystal is best for you. Quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.