When you struggle to say no, you lose alignment with your intuition and truth. Saying NO is a powerful spiritual act that can counteract people pleasing and the trauma response of fawning.

 

If you’ve been people pleasing and stuck in the fawn response, this episode explains why saying no matters, how anxiety builds around saying no, and how boundaries support spiritual alignment. I also share a simple ritual you can do to get comfortable using no as a complete sentence.

 

WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:

 

🔮 Why you feel anxiety, guilt, and shame when you want to say no

🔮 How the fawn response drives people pleasing

🔮 How acting against your authentic truth creates inner conflict

🔮 How saying no aligns with spiritual law

🔮 What you gain by saying no (even if it’s hard to do)

 

Listen now and create your spiritual alignment by saying no.

 

FEATURED ON THE SHOW:

 

Protect your energy and divination ability. Register for the Protection and Divination Activation: https://go.threecharmedgems.com/PDAPodcast

 

Connect with Crystals that Support Your Unique Energy Needs – Shop Now!: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/shop/

 

Join the Charmed Community: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/charmed-community-opt-in/

 

Download the Charmed Morning Ritual Worksheet to help you get your life in order: https://go.threecharmedgems.com/morning-ritual-worksheet

 

Register for the Crystal Witch New Moon Ritual: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/cwnmr-crystal-witch-new-moon-ritual-opt-in/

 

Want to take this work deeper and apply it to your life?  Inside the Crystal Self Healer Members Portal, you’ll discover how to relax your body, mind, and spirit through crystal healing, while learning to set healthy boundaries, build unshakable self-belief, and heal the wounds from past hurts. Click the link to learn more and enroll today, and take the next step toward lasting emotional freedom: https://www.threecharmedgems.com/crystal-self-healer-members-portal/

 

Want to know what crystal will help you right now?  Take the What Crystal is Best for You quiz and find out how you can start your own crystal practice here:  https://go.threecharmedgems.com/QuizPodcast

 

Follow on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/crystal-self-healer/id1727392795

 

00:00 Introduction to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast

00:41 Understanding the Difficulty of Saying No

02:58 Exploring the Fawn Response

03:39 Card Inspiration: Nine of Swords

05:03 Aligning with Spiritual Integrity

08:10 Lepidolite: The Crystal for Saying No

09:57 Guided Meditation with Lepidolite

12:00 Join the Charmed Community

14:21 Conclusion and Next Steps

Episode #87 – Saying NO is a Powerful Spiritual Act

Introduction to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast

Welcome to the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. I’m Corissa Weaver. On this podcast, we blend the magic of crystals with the science of psychology to help you break free from chaos, ditch the overwhelm, and master your emotions so you can have more energy, get more done and feel better every day. Get ready to unlock your intuition and restore your true power as we cover how you can transform your life using crystals and self-awareness.

Are you ready to get started? Alright, let’s go.

Understanding the Difficulty of Saying No

We’ve all done it. Said yes when we really wish we had said no.

Or if you did say no, you followed it up with a long explanation about why you said no.

Similar to when a toddler learns that an electrical outlet means danger, for whatever reason there are places and spaces that we’ve learned are unsafe for going against perceived authority, and these learned internal rules are quietly dictating your life.

You may not have considered this, but if you have a hard time saying no, even when it’s justified, you may be experiencing a trauma response.

One intended to minimize or avoid the fallout, like the anger of a parent, the disappointment of a partner, or the passive aggressive silence of a friend.

If you’ve been wanting to say no, but can’t stomach the stress that comes with it, this episode is for you. We are going to unravel the hold your trauma response has so you can use no as a full and complete sentence to preserve your emotional and mental wellbeing.

No one likes to know they’ve disappointed someone by saying no or refusing a request.

So let’s talk about that feeling of walking on eggshells because you sense that saying no would backfire on you.

It feels awful to do the thing you really didn’t want to do, and yet it’s just as awful to think of how it could blow up in your face.

I’m going to guess that you experience the anxiety, guilt, and shame like many of my clients, when you know deep down in your heart that you’d rather say no, but feel like you can’t.

So you watch yourself appease the other person so that at least the backlash isn’t coming from outside of you.

Or if you do build up the courage to say no, you feel the need to explain all the reasons why you needed to say no, like no isn’t enough on its own.

Exploring the Fawn Response

The inner conflict you feel here is driving you to experience the fawn response. You’ve no doubt heard of the fight or flight response, actions you instinctively take to keep yourself safe. But the Fawn response, which is talked about less, falls into this category of stress response.

When you fawn, you appease other people in order to not feel more discomfort. And often people will choose to not have external disappointment over avoiding the negative emotions that might arise from going against someone else’s wishes.

Card Inspiration: Nine of Swords

The card inspiration this week is the Nine of Swords in the what to release placement.

On this card, you have an individual sitting up in bed, in the darkness of the middle of the night, with their head in their hands.

You can clearly see and sense by the imagery on this card that it represents anxiety, likely the very same anxiety you feel when you consider saying no, or you worry about the potential fallout.

The nine swords are stacked beside and above the individual as if they are primed to fall, and carved on the bed frame is a battle scene with one opponent having fallen backward onto the ground.

There is a sense of defeat around the impending end that is about to come, whether it be from the falling of the swords or the way things play out in the battle of life.

The placement of this card is offering that it’s better to release the anxiety and worry rather than to indulge in it.

I don’t know about you, but I have never found that spinning in anxiety and worry in the middle of the night has brought about a desirable or favorable outcome for whatever issue prevented me from sleeping.

Aligning with Spiritual Integrity

Let’s start by dissecting the discomfort you feel when you don’t say no and do the thing anyway.

Broadly speaking, this feels horrible because your actions are in direct opposition from what you would like to be doing.

Going against your own best interest or being out of alignment violates the law of responsibility that states you are responsible for your own wellbeing, emotional boundaries, and the integrity of your own soul through your actions.

The internal conflict between what your soul is meant to do and the choices and actions you make, create that wake you up in the middle of the night anxiety.

Saying no so you can be in spiritual alignment requires you to choose a personal authentic truth over a socially or externally imposed pressure.

This could be a person or a system that uses guilt as a tool of control.

So often I witness clients making choices because they feel like they’re hostage to the emotions or imposed guilt of others.

And yes, it will be uncomfortable for you to start saying no when your usual MO is to say yes.

But when you couple that with aligning to the Law of Divine will, you get your blueprint for moving forward.

The Law of Divine will states that your greatest fulfillment comes from aligning with the Divine, and that can’t be found in any external hierarchy because it’s your personal relationship with the Divine.

When you feel in your bones that doing something isn’t right for you, it is an act of spiritual integrity to say no, one that feeds your soul by setting and maintaining a personal boundary.

Connecting with and building trust in your divine path or soul’s purpose, gives you the foundational, supportive space to say no from, so that when someone pushes back, you know you’ve done the right thing.

You’ll feel so much freer, and you’ll get so much time back in your day because you’re no longer catering to someone else and doing things you don’t want to be doing.

I have a three day live activation coming up later this month where you can start to work on and build your protection and divination practices.

With guided meditations, crystal healing, and an activation ritual, you’ll be supported in deconstructing from the structures that are holding you in this fawning pattern and access the support you need to manage the discomfort that comes with growing and doing new and different things.

Look for the link in the show notes below.

Lepidolite: The Crystal for Saying No

The crystal i’m going to offer to support you in saying no as a complete sentence is Lepidolite and here’s why.

When your regular state of being is rife with stress, anxiety, and guilt that fuels your fawn response, Lepidolite has the ability to soothe and calm the mind. With its trace amounts of lithium it helps to calm emotional turmoil, making it easier to identify and release old patterns and learned survival behaviors.

Once you start to shed the emotional burdens that are not yours to carry, you have the opportunity to start taking charge of your own wellbeing and energetic boundaries. Lepidolite supports you in the emotional release process and establishing a safe baseline upon which to start creating a more balanced experience.

To focus on reducing or shifting the stress and anxiety that stimulates mental chatter and reflexive acts, Lepidolite helps to quiet the external noise and emotional pressure that limits your ability to tap into your own inner guidance. You’ll be better equipped to listen to and align with your own truth while saying no to external pressure.

By clearing the mind of emotional stress and anxiety, Lepidolite also clears the way for your divination practices. Acting as a purifying force, Lepidolite shields against unwanted energy so you can maintain a strong, clear and peaceful state of being.

Guided Meditation with Lepidolite

Here’s a way you can work with your Lepidolite today to support you in creating the energetic environment that helps you say no.

You’ll need your Lepidolite and a space where you can be undisturbed for at least five minutes.

Find a spot where you can either sit or lie down comfortably.

Take your Lepidolite, hold it in your hands, or place it on either your heart chakra or your third eye chakra.

Close your eyes and bring your attention to your breath.

Allow your body to relax into your space, feeling the full support of the surface you are on.

As your breathing becomes more regulated and deeper, invite the soothing energy of Lepidolite to integrate into your being.

Allow it to expand and encompass your entire body from the tips of your toes to the crown of your head and out into your energy body.

Notice how as you continue to breathe and relax into the moment, your frazzled nerves start to settle and you experience a wave of calm wash over you.

Imagine this energy bubble as a protective shield for you, there to support and buffer you from external stress and anxiety inducing energy around you.

See the undesired demands of others bouncing off the bubble as you experience the sense of emotional calm and centeredness of your current state.

Imprint this experience in your emotional and mental body to draw upon when you find yourself on the receiving end of external demands.

When you feel a sense of completion, open your eyes, remove the Lepidolite and carry it with you during the day or place it on your altar as a physical reminder of the work you have just done.

Join the Charmed Community

Today’s pairing of the Nine of Swords with Lepidolite is from a crystal and tarot forecast inside the Charmed Community.

I invite you to join me in this free space where I share these readings weekly to help you align your energy and focus your week.

You also get the opportunity to connect with others who are exploring their growth and creating change in their lives, just like you.

Join us for free, the link is in the show notes.

And if you’re tired of being on an emotional rollercoaster, constantly juggling everything in your life, and you want to be part of a space that holds you in your healing, a space where you can feel seen, supported, and connected, I would love to have you join me inside the Crystal Self Healer members portal.

It’s where we go beyond the weekly guidance and we apply it to your life, equipping you with the tools, resources, including courses, workshops, and activations, as well as support to build your confidence in crystal healing and emotional self-care.

Inside you get healing sessions that help you process emotions so you can regulate your nervous system, rituals that help you anchor and direct energy, and personalized support when you’re feeling stuck. Everything you need to truly empower yourself to live with more ease and alignment is in the portal.

Visit my website, www.threecharmedgems.com or click the link in the show notes to learn more and join me.

It is time to stop living at the mercy of emotional triggers and start living in spiritual integrity. The Crystal Self Healer Members portal is where that shift begins. Find your clarity and come home to yourself.

Today’s episode has been brought to you by the Nine of Swords, Lepidolite, and no. may we all say no to that which does not serve our highest good. Blessed be, my friends.

Conclusion and Next Steps

All right, my friends, that wraps up this week’s episode. Thank you for joining me here today on the Crystal Self Healer Podcast. If you haven’t already, hit subscribe, leave a review and take the what Crystal is best for you quiz linked in the show notes. Join me again next week as we continue to demystify crystals, how your brain works and how you can use them so you can have more energy, get more done, and feel better every day.